When in class 8th

I don't know where I go
I don't know where lies my paradise
But I know your footsteps would take me to a world with a different sunrise
I look back and see, dismay and despair
I want to fly away
But some voice stops me
I have to do my job
Because this is the place where lies my existence cause

Voices

I am weaving a life....a life of my own...with the voices that surround me ...the ones that brushed past...those that still live within me and those that i keep beating into life every moment ...

with all the haze..the brightness...the nearness ...the coldness...I am weaving a life

Temptations

Temptations follow me like a shadow even in the dark alleys of the birds in my mind

Luring to get lost in the folds of the known warmth
To get lost in the mirages of joys, promising to last longer than the frames of life, 

Its in these clouded days that mirrors are louder than the shadows
Reflecting the twisted image that bent backward for the hues

Is it worth loosing oneself yet again to this exacting warmth
Is it worth to live in boundaries of the soul of shadows

Not now and never was
No fitting into globes of painted squares
No spaced breaths that muffle the being inside
No melting into forms that i dont recognize

It is Time to come out of the closet and make that trip uphill before the inevitable consume
These colorful fireflies will find a new new pair of eyes

The colour I painted with them in the flight are all mine
I have packed it with me to walk with me as part of me...

Meaning

Its convoluted....what you thought was important is not....when there is some output waiting.. the ink of imagination has dried...and the wheels of motivation that seemed so internal..want to take the other direction...

the note pad wants to be filled with colors...waiting to run with me free...to the places unknown..and the peaks unseen...

Its in these junctures...meanings for me surprise me....where are they leading me...

Hello and Goodbye

Some have a lifetime, some just a day
love isn't something you measure that way
nothing's ever forever, forever's a lie
all we have is between hello and goodbye

Culture: Bollywood

Does our bollywood movies validate that 'my' view of the world and its creatures is the only reality, that there are no other pieces to these realities. Human beings are not linear in living so why are the movies?

Why are 'we' not ready to view 'our' own reality? Why is it so painful to see oneself as a victim or the perpetrator?
Why do we (some of us) want to get lost in the magnanimous depictions, when 'I' am not there?
Why do we choose to live in the conflict rather that resolve it?

The oozing riches/goodness and well-offness in the movies, does it reflect on direct relationship of us being sacred to face, struggle with our own reality, poverty in acceptance of our own selves, denial to know our own selves.

What is it that we keep hovering at the same point in a spiral and move away from our own selves, further away with every circle, from facing it. Why are we ready to live someone else's dream, to live in congested spaces, but walk in a trance as if this is the liberation that I always wanted.

Is it the liberation, we have been seeking?

Why does what the other have, make me aspire what they have? What is it about what 'I' have? Because 'I' am and how much ever I try 'I' will be....even if I move away from my own self. 

Poem with a Life

Walking through life, You scale the un-trodden
Get caught in the surprises from the known
Look the other way when it is too much
Climb when it is the hardest

What is that ..that makes the struggle rhyme
That seeps through your insides as a sunshine,
Even when you are bruised, your eyes are closed
That plays the music, finds a rhythm in every lived moment

What is it that makes you walk and walk
That makes you laugh and fill you with joy in what you have....

What is that, that hums in every moment
that sings with every beat and every turn you take

Maybe there is a poem within that is alive